An Agreement

I understood.

Relationships at my age

often just seem

to be a desperate selfish escape

outside of myself.

I thrust myself at someone

evading the bonds of isolation

only to retreat back into them

once my needs have been met.

All I needed was a physical reminder

of my connection to someone else,

until the kisses were less sweet.

True love’s largest group of skeptics

are in fact teenagers.

This is what you do in high school,

you find many different soulmates,

and then suddenly

you can't find a single soul in the world,

not even your own.

I wrap myself in someone else,

until the spark is gone,

and refuse to feel the cold once the fire is out.

Until all is numbness,

claiming that this is how it always was,

and how it always will be.